For some women, the journey to motherhood begins unexpectedly through unplanned pregnancies while for others it starts effortlessly when they are ready to take up that lifelong responsibility.
And then there is another category of women whose pursuit of a bundle of joy takes them on a bumpy ride on a road paved with physical, emotional, and psychological abuse.
For as long as they can bear, such women suffer ill-treatment either from their husbands, in-laws, or other members of society due to infertility issues and the inability to have their biological children.
The emotional trauma, ridicule, discrimination have sent some of them to their early grave while the situation has also paved the way for fake doctors, herbalists, and some self-acclaimed ‘men of God’ to take advantage or exploited such women, all in the name of ending their woes of infertility.
Infertility
According to World Health Organisation (WHO), infertility is a condition that affects both male and female reproductive systems and it is defined by the failure to achieve a pregnancy after a year or more of regular unprotected sex.
Infertility affects millions of people of reproductive age worldwide and has an impact on their families and communities. Estimates suggest that between 48 million couples and 186 million individuals live with infertility globally.
This data makes one wonder that if infertility could affect both the man and the woman, why must the women alone be singled out for blame whenever a couple could not give birth?
Meet Nana Ama, a 38-year-old trader who explained how she had to endure the wrath of her husband for her inability to achieve pregnancy for the past eight years.
She stated that at age 29 she got married to her husband (name withheld) and when after two years, there were no signs of pregnancy, she suggested that they see a doctor, but he would not budge.
According to her, four years into the marriage, her husband’s attitude towards her changed. “Around the third to the fourth year into the marriage, I noticed he spent most of his time outside, comes home drunk,’’
She stated that anytime she asked him why the sudden change in attitude, her husband either physically assault her. Sometimes she would end up at the hospital.
“To him, I had no right to demand or ask him about how he lived his life. In fact, he abused me severally, there was a day I remember he threw a stapler which landed on the left side of my eye,” she explained with nostalgia.
Nana Ama also recounted how she lost a six-week-old pregnancy she had no knowledge of due to physical and verbal abuse.
She said her husband later brought one of his mistresses into their home, after asking her to pack out since she was not able to bear him a child.
“Later there was a confrontation between my husband and I where he assaulted me. He held my neck and strangled me. I could hardly breathe I managed to remove his hands and tried to run away but he followed and pushed me hard to the floor,” she said.
Nana Ama recalled that while on the floor, she felt a sharp abdominal pain followed by blood oozing from her side.
Nana Ama said the husband, upon seeing the situation, left her. But for neighbour who came to her rescue and rushed her to the hospital, she would have lost her life.
She said medical examinations conducted revealed she had lost another pregnancy. “I will never forget that day; I have waited all these years to get pregnant so losing it hit me so hard”.
According to her, even though, she was advised by her neighbours to report the husband to the police, she could not due to threats from her husband and family members.
Nana Ama said after some weeks she packed out and later divorced her husband.
With her bad experience in marriage, Nana Ama has decided to stay single, ” it is far better to divorce and stay single than to endure an abusive marriage,”
Sex predator
“Children are parts of our lives and their absence in marriages are difficult to bear. Trying to get pregnant for the past four years has been the most difficult years of my life”, Veronica Koranteng (not her real name) another victim also recounted.
In an interview with the Ghanaian Times, Veronica disclosed how she was raped by a doctor she sought medical help from.
“Pressure from society and the abuse I suffered, especially from my in-laws, made me desperate in looking for a solution to my problem”, she said.
She said she went to the Nature’s Hand Therapeutic Centre at Gbawe, in Accra where she met Jonathan OheneNkunim, who introduced himself as the doctor in charge of the facility.
“Through discussing my infertility issue with me, he assured me that with his treatment, I will conceive within a period of one year, which sounded good to me”
She said the said doctor gave her some pills to swallow, explaining that the pill would prepare my ‘system’ to undergo a series of fertility tests.
“Few minutes after taking the pills I felt dizzy, so he told me to lie on the hospital bed, I do not really know what happened. I felt like someone was having sex with me but I could not even open my eyes properly, later I woke up, felt weak in my thighs, and saw some discharge,” she disclosed.
Veronica said when she approached “Dr” Jonathan, he denied having sex with her and rather blamed how Veronica felt on the medication he administered to her.
Explaining further, she said the doctor asked her to lie down in order to check whether her cervix and womb were in good condition but she declined and left.
“I have not been able to inform my husband about the incident because as a woman no matter what, if someone has sex with you, you will definitely notice it and so I felt so guilty about visiting that health facility in the first place,” she added.
She stated that she could not report the said doctor to the police due to the embarrassment she would face and the fact that it could have dire consequences on her marriage.
But his deeds caught up with him months later as he was exposed by Manasseh Azure Awuni, an investigative Journalist of The Fourth Estate in a report titled “Sex Predator”.
The investigative piece revealed how this same Jonathan Nkunim used his facility and practice as bait to sexually assaulting scores of women who went there seeking treatment. He was later arrested and currently facing trial.
Expert’s take (GBV)
The Project Officer, Gender Centre, Madam Esther Darko Mensah speaking on Gender-Base Violence (GBV) said it refers to the harmful acts directed at an individual based on his or her gender.
She said GBV includes sexual, physical, mental, and economic harm committed in public or in private. It includes threats of violence, coercion, and manipulation.
Madam Mensah said GBV is a serious abuse of human rights and a life-threatening health and protection issue, “women and girls are very vulnerable therefore they suffer from GBV”
The consequences of GBV are devastating and can have life-long repercussions for survivors. It even leads to death.
Touching on the Domestic Violence Act of 2007, she said the Act is intended to protect all, especially women, against domestic violence and punish offenders.
She said with the Act, victims could be granted protection orders to shield them from harmful actions and behaviour of offenders.
Madam Mensah called on victims to report offenders to the authorities to serve as a deterrent to others.
According to the Act, victims of Domestic Violence need not suffer in silence but could confidently seek help in court and hopefully live or their life in peace and dignity. An offender, on the other hand, will be exposed and be made to face the full rigor of the law.
Additionally, he or she will be ordered to obey the Protection Order(s)
Religious aspect
The Moderator of the Presbyterian Church of Ghana (PCG), the Rt Rev. Prof. Joseph Obiri Yeboah Mante, in an interview advised couples to assist each other in their help quest to fight infertility problems, rather than subjecting each other to abuse.
In relation to marital abuse, he said women were the victims, adding that men should not subject their wives to physical or emotional abuse.
Rt Rev. Mante said, “the idea that every woman or couple should have children, is the first deception, therefore, society should desist from putting pressure or subjecting them to abuse.”
He noted that “some people think that bearing children is equivalent to femaleness, and that itself is wrong. There are many things that women can do apart from bearing children”.
Rt Rev. Prof. Mante said training programmes on GBV and infertility should be championed by religious and traditional leaders in society.
Way forward
Negative cultural practices that subject women to all forms of abuse should be abolished. The media should partner with civil society organisations and women groups to educate the public on the need to end violence against women and girls. Government should support the empowerment of women and girls in the country. Society should also report perpetrators of such crimes for the law to deal with them.
Statistics
According to United Women, Most violence against women is perpetrated by current or former husbands or intimate partners. More than 640 million women aged 15 and older have been subjected to intimate partner violence. Of those who have been in a relationship, almost one in four adolescent girls aged 15 to 19 (24 per cent) have experienced physical and/or sexual violence from an intimate partner or husband. Sixteen per cent of young women aged 15 to 24 experienced this violence in the past 12 months.
According to the statistics available at the Accra Regional Office of the Domestic Violence and Victims Support Unit (DOVVSU), as of August 2020, 31.9 per cent of Ghanaian women have faced at least one form of domestic violence – physical, economic, psychological, social or sexual.
DOVVSU which is under the Ghana Police Service is to prevent, protect, apprehend and prosecute perpetrators of domestic violence and child abuse.
BY AGNES OPOKU SARPONG
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